The closer Monday comes, the more I want to zombie out/anesthetize myself with some mindless endeavor, like Pirates, Petville, or Vampire Wars. I don't want to have to think about going back to work. I do enjoy what I do for a living. But the company's sucking the life out of me - all of us there - by continually trying to get more for less in their quest to manage expenses. Whereas employees used to be treated well and rewarded often, we're now expected to do more and more and more, and we're rarely rewarded. A job well done is not praised. It's considered the norm. Going way above and beyond what's expected may get you a pat on the head, a nod, and a halfway decent raise. But who can go above and beyond when they're drained from mental exhaustion, the utter fatigue that comes from trying daily to do more than is humanly possible? Ah well, I'll do what I can to enjoy the weekend while I can.
The bottle of Martini & Rossi Asti Spumante Fred bought us for NYE is still unopened in the fridge. When he went to bed last night at 11:00 PM I asked him if we were going to drink our toasts in bed. He replied he'd be asleep before midnight. It was expected; after 28 years I should know. Ha. So maybe we'll sip the wine after dinner tonight. Jessica's called to invite us over, but I'd just as soon wait until tomorrow to go over there. I told her as much. I'll call Mom in a minute to find out when Dick and Lucille will be in from MI. They're passing through, spending the night in Houston, on their way to Corpus Christi. I would like to see them. Lucille's father and my dad's mother were siblings. So she's my 2nd cousin.
Fred just called to say he had a tire blow out on my car on 610, so he had to put the spare on and is getting a new tire now at Wally World. Always something that interferes with what we think is going to be our budgeted allowance for the pay period. Which is why we need more reserves in savings. It's so hard to save when the cost of living nearly doubles and salaries increase by less than 10% annually. I don't know if I'll ever be able to afford to retire. I don't know if I can afford not to retire...which reminds me...gotta go call the dr's office and leave a message to ask if they'll refill my Rxs before I go back in for my next quarterly blood work.
Geez, if I was going to write something to cheer myself up, I haven't done a very good job. LOL!
Friday, January 1, 2010
Waiting on the Rose Parade
I was up at 3:30 this morning, after going to sleep about midnight-thirty. Tried to watch George Lopez's last HBO special again, but fell asleep. It was hilarious the first time and still quite humorous the 2nd. But with this my 3rd viewing, I couldn't last until the end. At midnight I went out in the front yard to watch fireworks. There was a cold north wind blowing, so I didn't stay out there too long. I think it should be sunny today, near 60. At least that's the way it was yesterday. And it doesn't look like rain now...always subject to change. Later I'll watch the Parade of Roses, as is my tradition. I think I'll watch it in bed, and hopefully I won't fall asleep before it's over. Friday is menudo day for Fred and his brothers Richard and Louis. So he'll be going to meet them, probably about the time the parade begins. We have no plans for New Year's Day. I think I'll make chicken and cornbread dressing for dinner, with green beans, and maybe cauliflower. Now I'm off to play Vampire Wars.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
8:15 PM, December 31, 2009
The moon appears a full disc of fiery ice
peering disdainfully down upon our atmosphere.
I hear fireworks all around, but cannot see them,
as I sit quietly on my patio in the sprinkling mist.
Eric got off work early and came to pick up Carl,
to take him to Jessica's and Brad's, where they'll
drink, smoke, play video games, and perhaps watch
the brilliantly extravagant fireworks display the
neighbors always put on there. Meanwhile, Jessica
and Brad took the kids to their other parent's
annual NYE bash - at Kam's, Kern's, Anna's, & JJ's
parents' house in The Woodlands. Fred went with
Alfee and Louise to pick up her other 2 grandsons
in Baytown, then to visit Chance and his family, if
they can be found.
I opted to stay home, where I've cooked pork loin,
and have scalloped potatoes baking, with some fresh
broccoli stems sauteeing on the stove. I'm a loner,
for the most part. I don't mind not being involved
in any celebratory festivities. I like solitude, maybe
too much sometimes. But, after all, I am my own best
friend. LOL Well, actually, I'm sharing the evening
with my spirit guide, Wenonah. I did express to her
that I'm very blessed to be spending NYE with her.
(No, I'm not crazy.) And I told all my loved ones
who've passed on from this life that I love them.
(Seriously - not crazy.)
I'm a homebody, and family is more important to me than
anyone or anything else. But part of me still longs for
something elusive. Not adventure, I've outgrown that stage.
Something serendipitous and serene. True companionship.
I miss my friend Jenn so much. It's been 3 years since she
died. I still don't know if the coroner determined whether
it was a heart attack like they suspected. I tend to suspect
differently. Only because I knew her as well as anyone,
I believe. I haven't spoken to her family since the week after
her funeral. I have no reason to travel to Nederland anymore.
I wasn't close enough to any of them to call. Oh well.
I have no best girl friend, without Jenn. There are no close
girlfriends here. There are friends, but not best friends.
I relate better to men most of the time anyway. Fred is my
best friend, which is as it should be. But there should be more.
I know there must. Everyone feels such longing, I surmise, from
time to time. Surely we all think there must be something else,
somewhere else, that would fit us better. Is that true? I have to
believe it is. There's comfort in assurance that I'm no stranger
than the next poor slob.
*S*
Happy New Year!
peering disdainfully down upon our atmosphere.
I hear fireworks all around, but cannot see them,
as I sit quietly on my patio in the sprinkling mist.
Eric got off work early and came to pick up Carl,
to take him to Jessica's and Brad's, where they'll
drink, smoke, play video games, and perhaps watch
the brilliantly extravagant fireworks display the
neighbors always put on there. Meanwhile, Jessica
and Brad took the kids to their other parent's
annual NYE bash - at Kam's, Kern's, Anna's, & JJ's
parents' house in The Woodlands. Fred went with
Alfee and Louise to pick up her other 2 grandsons
in Baytown, then to visit Chance and his family, if
they can be found.
I opted to stay home, where I've cooked pork loin,
and have scalloped potatoes baking, with some fresh
broccoli stems sauteeing on the stove. I'm a loner,
for the most part. I don't mind not being involved
in any celebratory festivities. I like solitude, maybe
too much sometimes. But, after all, I am my own best
friend. LOL Well, actually, I'm sharing the evening
with my spirit guide, Wenonah. I did express to her
that I'm very blessed to be spending NYE with her.
(No, I'm not crazy.) And I told all my loved ones
who've passed on from this life that I love them.
(Seriously - not crazy.)
I'm a homebody, and family is more important to me than
anyone or anything else. But part of me still longs for
something elusive. Not adventure, I've outgrown that stage.
Something serendipitous and serene. True companionship.
I miss my friend Jenn so much. It's been 3 years since she
died. I still don't know if the coroner determined whether
it was a heart attack like they suspected. I tend to suspect
differently. Only because I knew her as well as anyone,
I believe. I haven't spoken to her family since the week after
her funeral. I have no reason to travel to Nederland anymore.
I wasn't close enough to any of them to call. Oh well.
I have no best girl friend, without Jenn. There are no close
girlfriends here. There are friends, but not best friends.
I relate better to men most of the time anyway. Fred is my
best friend, which is as it should be. But there should be more.
I know there must. Everyone feels such longing, I surmise, from
time to time. Surely we all think there must be something else,
somewhere else, that would fit us better. Is that true? I have to
believe it is. There's comfort in assurance that I'm no stranger
than the next poor slob.
*S*
Happy New Year!
I entered a poetry challenge for NYE...this was my entry...
The Indictment
Joe conveniently blamed his undoing on Frances.
Their hearts had hardened over a few long years,
Like the hoary overgrowth of thorn-laden shrubs
That lined the drive winding from Harrod Lane
Up to their walnut double doors, heavy, sturdy,
And proudly exhibiting their stained glass panes.
They only appeared inviting to casual observers.
Anyone who knew the two needn't be a prophet to see
The chance was high that either Frances or Joe might
Surface dead long before their time should've been due.
That cold topaz resting on her third finger, left hand,
Gave way to a gem of grander repose, highly carated,
Shining like the iridescent glint in Joe's hard eyes,
As he encircled Frances with favors, lies, and demands.
The wedding was de rigueur, the reception posh.
The decade that followed was a whirlwind of gain.
Then came Brittany, followed by Marsh...blessings -
Or the demise of all that remained plausibly sane?
Joe inhaled and injected his profits; business crashed,
As did Frances, into a crevasse below and past the last
Turn west of Morgan's Point, on a night much too dark.
Authorities suspected, unproven, more than casual mishap.
Joe blamed his late wife's lover for breaking her heart.
He claimed Frances got a call she never expected,
That sent her out the door then over that retaining wall.
He told detectives he hadn't slept with her in years.
Perhaps they split the sheets, but Joe never split hairs,
Nor profits. Frances knew too much to remain untouched.
Cold cases gather dust slowly on dim back shelves.
Her lifestyle was top-drawer, but Frances' demise
Held less glamor, less drama - more apathy and ennui.
She never stood for being ignored; she didn't lie
Still for it long either. Somehow Joe never rested
Peacefully again, even though he remained unindicted.
Between midnight and 3:00 AM, without fail, she came
To him - bloody finger outstretched, beautiful face
Abraded, marred...floating, not walking...closer...
Calling Joe, Joe, you know I'll never leave you.
Joe conveniently blamed his undoing on Frances.
Their hearts had hardened over a few long years,
Like the hoary overgrowth of thorn-laden shrubs
That lined the drive winding from Harrod Lane
Up to their walnut double doors, heavy, sturdy,
And proudly exhibiting their stained glass panes.
They only appeared inviting to casual observers.
Anyone who knew the two needn't be a prophet to see
The chance was high that either Frances or Joe might
Surface dead long before their time should've been due.
That cold topaz resting on her third finger, left hand,
Gave way to a gem of grander repose, highly carated,
Shining like the iridescent glint in Joe's hard eyes,
As he encircled Frances with favors, lies, and demands.
The wedding was de rigueur, the reception posh.
The decade that followed was a whirlwind of gain.
Then came Brittany, followed by Marsh...blessings -
Or the demise of all that remained plausibly sane?
Joe inhaled and injected his profits; business crashed,
As did Frances, into a crevasse below and past the last
Turn west of Morgan's Point, on a night much too dark.
Authorities suspected, unproven, more than casual mishap.
Joe blamed his late wife's lover for breaking her heart.
He claimed Frances got a call she never expected,
That sent her out the door then over that retaining wall.
He told detectives he hadn't slept with her in years.
Perhaps they split the sheets, but Joe never split hairs,
Nor profits. Frances knew too much to remain untouched.
Cold cases gather dust slowly on dim back shelves.
Her lifestyle was top-drawer, but Frances' demise
Held less glamor, less drama - more apathy and ennui.
She never stood for being ignored; she didn't lie
Still for it long either. Somehow Joe never rested
Peacefully again, even though he remained unindicted.
Between midnight and 3:00 AM, without fail, she came
To him - bloody finger outstretched, beautiful face
Abraded, marred...floating, not walking...closer...
Calling Joe, Joe, you know I'll never leave you.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
New Year's Eve eve...
Yes, here's a pic of Carl at his finest. LOL!
I'm watching Ghost Hunters (sorta) while playing on Facebook - mostly Vampire Wars and a little Fashion Wars. VW is addictive and I'll have to slack off next week when I return to work. FW is fairly boring, but I do it in between energy and rage refills on VW. I refuse to try Farmville, which EVERYone in my family seems to be playing...and I especially refuse to try Zynga poker/Texas Hold 'Em, or whatever it is my kids and their friends play.
I baked 2 pumpkin pies for NYE tomorrow. Fred fried catfish and salmon for supper, along with fries, and I fixed a salad w/lettuce, tomato, avacado, carrot, and broccoli. It was all delish. I'd never tried fried salmon before, but it was good. Cooked in olive oil, not too greasy. I'll be glad when holiday season is finÃs after this weekend, mainly because there will be much fewer sweet temptations beckoning wherever we go. We still have some pecan pie left over from Xmas. But we polished of the Italian creme cake yesterday. Damn.
I thought it actually might snow yesterday, but it never did. Had a little (very little) sleet mixed with some rain. Much more rain last night, apparently, from the looks of the yard. But it's drier now. Enough weather talk. I'm talking to myself, so what do I care? Ha.
Didn't feel much Christmas spirit this past week, but I tell myself it's OK, Christ wasn't born on Dec. 25th anyway. I miss Pope John Paul II's midnight masses on Xmas Eve. I watched those every year. They were/he was inspirational. And he knew to surround himself with other equally inspirational clerics and others. Benedict just doesn't even come close. Not that I'm Catholic. I took a 'what religion are you' quiz on BeliefNet (what DON'T they have a quiz for?!), and it told me, no surprise, that I'm 100% mainstream liberal Protextant Christian. Well, duh... But Gloria would be pleased (and maybe not surprised at all) that I also had 89% UU tendencies.
Gloria sent an email out to her cohorts yesterday inviting everyone to Crazy Heart (who/what the heck is that?) Sat. night. Said she wants to meet before for dinner somewhere good. I have to first look up the venue and also the featured ?performer(s)?, but I doubt I'll go. Been kinda (well, more than kinda) lazy all week. Not having to go in to the office will do that to ya'. At least it does for me.
Yesterday Fred was all like- we need to go here, we need to do this. Ugh. I told him I was on vacation and wanted to relax. I asked him what he thought vacation was for, and he said it was for getting other things done that you couldn't do when you have to work all week. Typical answer for a workaholic. Opposites...
Monday, December 28, 2009
Where...The Trees
A lone stand of pines keeps watch
beyond those citrus groves where
we played, where orange trees
produced their edible art, where
sweetness danced on questing lips,
and anticipation dribbled down our chins.
I remember you, pine-cone grenade in hand,
unbridled mirth spilling from your mouth,
past delicious orange-flavored lips...
When - *THWACK* - a hard green missile
found its mark on my cheek, where only
moments earlier your hand gently brushed
wayward hair from my face, and I felt
your breath, warm and wanton, on my skin.
All was fair in love and war:
Might in battle gave way to
impassioned testaments of forever.
Beneath glitters of falling stars,
loyal friendship melted into dawn,
then into scars that burn so sweetly.
Like ravaged driftwood setting sail
from twilight's quickly cooling sands,
those moments floated off beyond our grasp.
Now following the sun's daily reign,
a vague semblance of peace settles in.
Like some grayed carousel, shadows descend.
The lone stand of pines keeps watch,
sentinels untouched by time.
The trees know...
yet silent they'll remain.
beyond those citrus groves where
we played, where orange trees
produced their edible art, where
sweetness danced on questing lips,
and anticipation dribbled down our chins.
I remember you, pine-cone grenade in hand,
unbridled mirth spilling from your mouth,
past delicious orange-flavored lips...
When - *THWACK* - a hard green missile
found its mark on my cheek, where only
moments earlier your hand gently brushed
wayward hair from my face, and I felt
your breath, warm and wanton, on my skin.
All was fair in love and war:
Might in battle gave way to
impassioned testaments of forever.
Beneath glitters of falling stars,
loyal friendship melted into dawn,
then into scars that burn so sweetly.
Like ravaged driftwood setting sail
from twilight's quickly cooling sands,
those moments floated off beyond our grasp.
Now following the sun's daily reign,
a vague semblance of peace settles in.
Like some grayed carousel, shadows descend.
The lone stand of pines keeps watch,
sentinels untouched by time.
The trees know...
yet silent they'll remain.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Happy T Day
Well it's Thanksgiving night. I see I haven't blogged since before Halloween. I knew I'd be bad at keeping up with this. But I've cleaned and allegedly sped up my PC, so maybe it will be easier to stay online... Quien se?
I have to remind myself this is my journal. Which means I should make a daily entry, or at least a couple times a week. I can't get my head around having something that's out there on the Internet for whomever to peruse being my "diary." LOL! But I'm working on it.
Had a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner at Jess & Brad's. Patrick's sick (again). He had a 100.2 or so temp. Jessica gave him Dayquil and sent him to bed. He's congested, but then he has been, from allergies, for a couple months now. He felt better after a nap. Aurora, on the other hand, was too busy playing with friend Chloe down the street to nap. She came in from playing and announce she was getting a real phone for Christmas, because she's in 2nd grade now, and therefore needs one, so she can call and text her friends any time. Really! Her mother and I both said the same thing - "Whatever!"
Now Fred's snoozing in his recliner and I'm about to try to catch up on Facebook, which is yet another thing I can't stay with, with any regularity. More later, I hope.
I have to remind myself this is my journal. Which means I should make a daily entry, or at least a couple times a week. I can't get my head around having something that's out there on the Internet for whomever to peruse being my "diary." LOL! But I'm working on it.
Had a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner at Jess & Brad's. Patrick's sick (again). He had a 100.2 or so temp. Jessica gave him Dayquil and sent him to bed. He's congested, but then he has been, from allergies, for a couple months now. He felt better after a nap. Aurora, on the other hand, was too busy playing with friend Chloe down the street to nap. She came in from playing and announce she was getting a real phone for Christmas, because she's in 2nd grade now, and therefore needs one, so she can call and text her friends any time. Really! Her mother and I both said the same thing - "Whatever!"
Now Fred's snoozing in his recliner and I'm about to try to catch up on Facebook, which is yet another thing I can't stay with, with any regularity. More later, I hope.
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